It's days like today that I think "wow, I'm a loser" and my brain responds "heh heh, yeah you are, now find some food so you can eat your feelings". Ok, that's not a bad idea... Be right back...
OK! I have a Poptart. Where was I ?
Oh yeah, I'm a loser. (I'm sure most of you are sitting there like "Oh My God, she's just realizing this now???") Yes. Yes I am, and I guess I was ok with this for a while until I looked around and realized that I have no friends. I don't mean NO friends, but if I were to look through my phone right now I'd probably find like 2 people I'd call to hang out with. My friends have lives and school and other such things, and I guess I work and stuff, but things get lonely.
There's a point to this, I swear.
I remember my first three best friends were named Alyssa, Alyssa, and Melissa, (then there was Me. Courtney.... gross... why didn't my name rhyme?) we lived in Denver and went to the same preschool. Wanna know how I made those friends? I walked up to the Lego table and said "hey, you guys wanna be friends?" BAM! three friends. Like, what the hell ?? In the adult world that would be one of the weirdest things to do. Imagine a co-worker you never talk to, maybe they have stinky pits, or maybe they always groan when their candy is released from the vending machine, I don't know, someone you'd never gone out of your way to talk to, imagine they strolled (waddled, limped, demon-crawled) up to you and said "Hhhhey, wanna be frienddss??" all drawn out and breathy, you can feel your glasses start to fog up from their frito-smelling breath. ( I imagine everyone besides me is a total weirdo.) You (being a better person than me) would probably fake a smile and say "uh, Sure! Wanna grab a coffee? (bagel, cigarette, exorcism)?" and then you'll do everything in your reasonable power to avoid that person for the rest of either of your lives. (see if there's a different department/ branch that you can transfer to) and that would be that. Over. Done.
Here's the problem. You both have increased you friend circle by like .001% . (Which, If you didn't know, a normal friend is worth 1-5% unless its me. I'm 17% because I'm special.) So either way... Nothing happened there.
I'm trying to make friends / connect with old friends. Both are very hard endeavors, and I don't want to be Captain Frito-Face and creep someone out by forcefully imposing my friendship upon them. So here I sit... Eating a Po-tart...
Well, at last I have you all to talk to , so thank you very much for making sure I don't lose my mind. (What's left of it anyway...)
My best to all of you.
-Q
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